Rock on

Katie and I have laughed for a long time about the military MRE's (meals ready to eat). The directions include placing the "main course" into a envelope heater and then leaning against a "rock or something". I wonder if the same people that need directions for pop tarts are also using the MRE's.

A patient at work was fake dry heaving into a garbage can. He was not wanting to go home because he wanted a LOT more pain medications. When questioned why he was dry heaving he responds "One of the nurses smelled like mint chocolate chip cookies".

I no longer wonder why MRE's have "rock or something" in the directions.

Pear & Honey Tart

Let me just make a disclaimer right up front. Rarely have I ever met a baked good I didn't like. That said, this little ditty is laden with lovely, sophisticated flavors; you won't find it keeping company on the corner with the common, tarted-up, box-mix treats. The beautiful part is, you won't spend all dang day in the kitchen, either. I like to put this recipe together for large familial gatherings. You know, the lovefests with raucous jokes, boisterous board games and lots of peckish cousins/uncles/aunts looking for a snack to nosh. Or those friendly get-togethers when you want to make some confection that's a little bit sexy but not a whole lot of work. One batch yields two half-sheet pan-sized tarts.

Pear & Honey Tart

From InStyle Magazine, November 2005

Ingredients:

3 cups slivered blanched almonds

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1 package of two frozen puff-pastry sheets, thawed

1-1/2 to 2 lbs. assorted firm pears, cored and sliced, peel on (Comice, D'Anjou, Bartlett)

1/3 c. honey

1/3 c. crumbled bleu cheese, or to taste

1 egg

Fresh sweetened whipped cream

Directions:

1 ~ Remove puff pastry from freezer and thaw according to package directions. Heat oven to 375 F. Lightly coat two half-sheet pans with baking spray. Gather ingredients and slice pears.

2~ In a food processor with chopping blade, pulse almonds and sugar until finely ground. Add 6 Tablespoons water, 1 at a time, until a thick paste forms. {You may need to add a little more water as needed, 1 Tablespoon at a time, to reach a spreadable consistency. Alternative: if you want a more rustic appearance to the tart, you may crumble the almond mixture instead of spreading it.}

3~ Cover 1 sheet of pastry with a damp cloth. {Work quickly to avoid drying out the dough.} On a lightly floured surface, roll other sheet of pastry out to fit pan. Place dough on greased baking sheet. With a knife, lightly score a 1-inch border just inside pastry's edge. Using a fork, gently poke holes all throughout the pastry's middle, inside the border.

4 ~ Spread or crumble half of almond paste over pastry, up to the border.

5 ~ Arrange half of pear slices over almond filling.

6~ Brush pear slices with half of the honey. {Warming honey in the microwave makes it easier to work with.}

7 ~ In a small bowl, lightly beat egg with 1 tsp. water. Brush over outer edges of the pastry's border.

8 ~ Bake 25 minutes or until outer edges are just beginning to turn golden.

9 ~ Sprinkle half of bleu cheese over pastry, then return to oven for another 5-10 minutes. {If you don't care for bleu cheese, you may omit this step. I'd encourage you to try just a little bit, though, because the full complement of flavors is really that good.}

10 ~ Repeat above steps with remaining sheet of pastry. {The last time I baked this, I had the luxury of a borrowed convection double oven. If you have the means, save yourself time and assemble/bake both tarts at once. If your oven is a plain old regular kitchen device like mine, you can follow these directions as written and just repeat the process, or just halve the recipe and make one tart, as the full two-tart recipe will make a very large batch.}

11 ~ Serve immediately, topped with a dollop of sweetened whipped cream.

Note: Best served warm and eaten right away. Store leftovers in refrigerator. Does not keep well.

Editorial note: I have received some feedback from other bakers that this tart can turn out a bit soggy on the bottom. If you are concerned about a damp lower layer, you may consider par-baking the puff pastry before assembling. Be sure to roll the dough out and score it (see step 3), then give it 3-5 minutes at 375 F before assembling the tart with the other ingredients. Follow the remainder of the instructions and bake as directed above, or until done.

Sunsets

We are really going to miss the Colorado sunsets. Sure hope Oregon has good sunsets as well.

Dementia and Drunks

So I have a theory that when someone gets old and demented that they become more like their real self. The mouth filter becomes non-existent and they say what they really want to. I think this is also true when people get drunk.

When Katie went to get new eyes, the doctor gave her some Valium. If she ever gets dementia I will have one talkative and pleasant wife. She will also be the one that grabs her doctor's (my) rear! If you don't believe me have a look at this.

I'm having a little vision correction this afternoon.  

Back next week!

Local color

Comment overheard by us at a restaurant:

"Well, it's not like it's ROCKET SURGERY or anything..."

Well, thank goodness!  Because if one happened to require this incredibly complex lab-child of rocket science + brain surgery,  I wouldn't know whether to call the surgeon general or NASA. Houston may not be ready for that problem. 

Word of the Day

The other day at work, I had a conversation that left me a little flummoxed.  I was in the process of handing my little patient over to another nurse.  As I gave report, I listed off all the important details: where the intravenous lines were, what fluids were running, the drugs' drip rates, pertinent family history. When I finished, the nurse asked in a thick Colombian accent, 

"Is the baby peenchee?"

Peenchee?! My mind raced. Dang, was this some new medication audit or clinical assessment I hadn't heard about?  I looked at the other nurse with question marks all over my face.  

"You know--is he a peenchee baby?"  She gestured with thumb and forefinger like she was playing finger cymbals. Or squishing a bug.

And then, the lost-in-translation query broke through the clouds.  She wanted to know if the baby was pinchy.  And since a picture is worth a thousand words in an explanation like this...

Meet our friends' little masterpiece, Princess P.  

Petite, perfectly proportioned, and  pinchy, indeed.

Do I hear HAPPINESS?

If you know me you will know that I am a very concrete thinker. I liked physics because you could come up with THE answer. Now in science there are theories and laws. If a theory is opposed to a law as you know the law will always win.

Theory
- I am a funny guy.

Law
- Katie is not a morning person.

So as I am singing in the shower I hear Katie say "Do I hear happiness?" which comes from the character in Annie (one of Katie's favorite movies) that Carol Burnett plays. Maybe my choice of songs has something to do with it, but I don't see what is wrong with The Bare Necessities. I now ask all of you, what song do you sing in the shower?

Weekend recap: We. Were. Animals.

Hubby Love and I were craving a little out-of-home experience this weekend, what with it being such nice weather here in Denver. A quick internet consult revealed that the Denver Zoo was hosting a free day on Saturday.

Animal viewing?

For free?

Sign us up!

So we called up a pair of like-minded friends and trundled over to the zoo. Upon encountering the red pandas at their friskiest, Michelle and I both made the obligatory "awwww" (according to my true love, it's the sound most females are hardwired to produce at the sight of Small Fuzzy Critters), then proceeded to each ask our spouses for one.

Because on the inside, I am still mostly four and one-half years old.

And because Small and Fuzzy is pretty endearing, no matter who you are.

red panda, denver zoo ~ by katie

It was a superb afternoon for seeing the animals out and about. I highly recommend a January mid-afternoon visit, folks, because the zoo residents were mostly snacking, cavorting, pouncing, or sitting right up front looking regal, and the crowds were pretty tolerable.

The pachyderm house was full of all kinds of action. The tapir and the rhino each had their own Christmas tree suspended in their respective enclosures (I wonder if they got everything on their lists?), the hippos were busy mouthing on each other, and the elephants...well, just check this out.

elephant, denver zoo ~ by bart

Two of life's best creations: elephants + pedicures = awesome! When the keeper finished up with one toenail, the elephant would put her foot down and run over every inch of its surface with the tip of her trunk. I don't mean to anthropomorphize the great creature, but she could have fooled me into thinking that she was running quality control checks. All in all, a great time at the zoo.

After zoo-ing, we made the pilgrimage to a beloved Denver establishment: Chedd's. (Cue the heavenly chorus.) These people have made good on the concept of doing one thing and doing it oh-so-right:

Melty

Crispy

Over-the-top

Ooey gooey

Grilled cheese sandwich-dom.

definitely try the focaccia bread!

chedd's, 19th ave. & pearl st., denver ~ by katie

You can custom-pick the bread, cheese, and assorted fillings, or you can go with one of the preconceived menu creations. Either way, I cannot imagine going wrong. The process is a bit slow, but entirely worth it. The artisans are hand-crafting your own cheesity goodness, after all!

(I'm getting hungry typing this...) I give it 4/5 stars. Affordable pricing, great flavor, good concept. If only copious amounts of cheese were somehow good for me, I'd dish out that other star. If you are in or near uptown Denver, don't miss this place.

aaron McD., cheesin'it up

chedd's, 19th ave. & pearl st., denver ~ by katie

Then, as if we hadn't had enough...

Bart and I had heard of a new restaurant on 17th Ave. in Denver, and I'd been itching to try it. D Bar Desserts serves food and drink, but their specialty is...

wait for it...

desserts.

And we ALL wanted to sample some of THAT business.

D serves their plated desserts--the formal, more constructed items--after 6 pm, so since we were there a bit early, we went with offerings already in the gorgeous dessert case. It was "cake & shake" all around. Bart and I had the white cake with a chocolate malt shake, and our friends had the chocolate cake with a chocolate malt.

While we waited, a waitress strolled by with somebody's order of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies and milk. I think the mores of modern western civilization were the only things that stopped all four of us from dogpiling on her and wolfing down every crumb of that amazing scent. (Although Bart DID accuse Aaron of undressing the cookies with his eyes.)

Once our plates arrived, we dispensed with all but the necessary nibbling. My conclusion: the white cake was firm and moist, with a light mouthfeel--not a dense sponge, but not flimsy. The buttercream icing and filling is absolutely perfect: creamy, smooth, not oily, not too sweet, and studded with raspberries. I would have preferred more raspberries, but I would still go work in the bakery for free just to learn how to make this confection. Paired with a small glass of chocolate malt and shared between two people, this was the Goldilocks of dessert: juuust right.

d is for delicious, decadent, divine...

foreground: our well-cleaned plate

background: aaron & michelle's chocolate nibbles

d dessert's cake & shake, 1475 e. 17th ave., denver ~ by katie

Aaron and Michelle shared chocolate cake and a chocolate malt. Their confection was everything chocolate cake should be: heavy, dark, and moist. It is welcome to sweep me off my feet with its luscious good looks any day of the week! Coupled with the chocolate shake, though, it leaned toward a very heavy flavor combination. I would recommend a vanilla shake or malt paired with this cake. As you can see, we were so enthusiastic about tasting, we forgot to photograph our treat. Dessert was definitely 5/5 stars--forget the calorie count, as it was dessert. I can't wait to go back and suss out the other offerings!

And so after a day filled with good friends, some"awww", some cheesiness, and some deep, dark, chocolate, we headed (or rolled, rather) out into the gorgeous sunset, stuffed and happy. I'll report back after I've done my penance running a half-marathon or so. Totally worth it.

19th ave. & pearl st., looking west into downtown denver ~ by katie

The Greatest Generation

So a while back Katie and I listened to the Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw. Today I happened to see one of these men again.

I first met him four years ago and tried to convince him to get his knees operated on since they were causing him so much pain. He never did because he wouldn't leave his wife at home alone (she was getting dementia and might come to the hospital to find him). Two years ago she passed away and he has not been the same since. His eyes fill with tears and emotion comes to his voice whenever he talks about her. They were together 65 years and as he puts it "she put up with a lot when she married this dumb Swede". When I told him that he would see her again. He laughed a little and made the comment he might not be going where she is. (In this I feel the same way. Fortunately, I married well enough that when I get there hopefully Katie will say "you don't get me unless he comes too". That will be the only way for me to stay where she will be.) For him I have no doubt, anybody that can love that much will get all that he deserves.

After knowing a few just like him I have to agree, they are the greatest generation.

Circle of Life

Has 70 become the new terrible two?

So today I experienced Mr. F (not his name but a shout out to this classic TV series). So Mr. F is getting ready to go home from the hospital which happens to be in another state. We arranged that he could go by van but Mr. F wanted to fly. Yes, this is your tax dollars at work. We then arranged Mr. F to fly but he would have to stay in a hotel (not his expense mind you) for 3 days. Airlines don't want canisters of highly flammable substance without a security check for some reason. Both of these options were answered with "I will stay in this bed until you arrange what I want!" In the end, after talking it over with his daughter, security was called and he was lifted out of his bed into a wheelchair for transport out of the hospital. While kicking and screaming down the hall the question was yelled, "Where are you taking me?" The response from security, "To the van and if you don't cooperate to jail."

This whole experience just struck me that as we get older we revert back to the way we were as a child. In the end he got home but it was not a very satisfying conclusion. Unlike when security took out a real jerk two days ago!

Breakfast For Dinner

There is an ongoing science experiment in our fridge.  It gets fed semi-regularly, occasionally makes a heck of a mess, and smells like old socks.  While we don't take it around the block for a walk, we have been known to tenderly handle--nay, to baby-- the contents of a sizable petri dish.  What is this stinky concoction, you may ask?  A gastronomical delight...sourdough start!  

We have a tasty tradition of converting our refrigerator pet into sourdough pancakes for dinner on the first Sunday of each month.   Add a dollop of my mother-in-law's raspberry jam to the stack, and I'm in paradise.  Bart prefers a drizzle of homemade buttermilk syrup for his poison.

Due to scheduling conflicts, the monthly carb-fest was honored tonight rather than over the weekend. While I worked out downstairs in anticipation of the breakfast-y goodness, my Kitchen Kamikaze whipped up a feast for the eyes and the palate.  I had picked up some deeply discounted kitchen gadgets at Cr@te & B@rrel's post-Christmas extravaganza, and...voila! Check out Bart's masterful griddle handiwork.   Eggs over easy and pancakes.  Or snowflakes. Or snowcakes!

Resolution: Go Ahead...Make My Day

Today was a post-Holiday-melee kind of day.  You know--the sort of day where one has had one's Christmas cookies and eaten them, too {along with all those other tasty seasonal violations of fitness, affronts to skinny jeans, and assaults on coronary arterial health}.  One has made merry, whipped up several once-a-year treats {and eaten half of them}, played Santa, decked the halls, hugged on family/friends, engaged in some healthy introspection, eaten one's weight in chocolate...and realized that after all the fun, one truly feels the overindulgence. {By "one", I mean my own doggone self.}

So.  

I went about my errands today with the above thoughts swirling around the back of my mind.   Strolling through the parking lot at the store, I was running down my mental checklist, "...post office, tire store, fill up the car..." when I was stopped in my tracks by a pleasant, unassuming gentleman.    

"You're a very pretty lady."

Just like that.  Like he was pointing out something patently obvious, a bona-fide fact.  No creepy stranger vibe, no let-me-sell-you-something agenda, no eyebrow-wiggling machismo. He was just plain being nice to another human being.  I ducked my head, smiled, and said a quiet thank-you before I stepped into my car.  Mr. Man climbed on his motorcycle and drove off.  I felt like a million bucks.  I grinned all afternoon.  Oh, and my running dialogue of self-directed negativity?  I told it to just sit back and chill out.

This brings me to a rather unorthodox New Year's resolution I've been considering.  So often, I find myself thinking something nice about another person, then selfishly keeping mum.   It is so easy for me to focus on the negative and the melancholy, but I resolve to turn that mindset on its ear and share the good stuff more often.   When I see someone do something well, I'm going to make a concerted effort to tell them.  When my co-workers complete a difficult goal, I will try harder to notice and give a pat on the back.  When my friends look put together, I will tell them.  I don't intend to hand out compliments like candy, because dishonest or frivolous praise cheapens the real thing.  I'm saying that I intend try and not keep honest, uplifting positive reinforcements to myself.  

Somewhere in Denver, there is a man on a motorcycle who made my day.  I want to pass the goodness along, so I'll start with this...You know what?  You  look good.  

  

Home Improvement

So in the two years there has been too numerous to count improvement projects on our house. Baby blue is no longer the dominant color and the light fixtures no longer scream 1980 (of note the 80's had good music and movies but nothing else). With all of the projects the mantra became "No home improvement is complete without at least two trips to Home Depot". However after the last project of plumbing for which the correct supplies could not be obtained the new term for that store is Home Despot. I think it fits quite well because that store does have absolute power over me.

Before a large project

During the renovation

After numerous trips to the store that will not be named.